Loving someone and to be in love with someone.. difference and explanation


“It’s not a dead relationship,” Sam insisted, staring across the family room at his wife, Ashley.
The words came slowly to Ashley’s turned-down lips. “Sam, it’s the video games. It’s not reading to Brenda. It’s not being here for me. Your head is so far removed from us at times, well … I love you but I’m not in love with you.”

Deep furrows crossed Sam’s brow. “What do you mean?”
Ashley let out a sigh. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
Like Ashley, almost everyone has problems explaining their sense of emotional anxiety. And when there is no resolution to a couple’s communication problems, they fall out of love. Often people blame their lovers for it all and say something like, “You’re from another planet.
How
could you get it?” But, truthfully, that misses the point.

The issue isn’t that men and women cannot communicate. They run the Fortune 500 companies together, and that requires a vast network of coordinated communication. The real issue is a lack of understanding of how 5 different feelings blend together to create the way we love our partners.

So the real communication problem isn’t about you or your partner, either. It is that there isn’t a common language for love. People don’t even agree on what the word love means.

For instance, if you look at the example above, you’ll see that Ashley used the word love to mean two different things at the same time. Then, Sam took those ideas to mean something different than what Ashley was trying to say. But neither one of them was to blame. They hadn’t been on the same page when they talked about their relationship for quite a while.

That was because no one had ever showed them how to effectively communicate their feelings. Yet, after I showed them the Love Code—which defines the new language of love—things changed for the better.

The Love Code states that people have 5 different feelings that work together to create all the ways they respond to their partners. Individuals can respond to their partners, or potential lovers, with any, all, or none of these feelings of love. The Love Code is based on new scientific discoveries, rather than urban myths. So it can be used to clarify any communication problem. It also helps to clarify why certain relationships wear you out, are boring, and why people cheat.

The five feelings of love rise up from deep inside us and blend together in different ways at different times. This explains why you can feel many different types of love for different people but not always have a way to put those feelings into words. But when you understand the Love Code, you will always be able to explain how you feel. You will also know what to ask your partner if you are confused about what he or she is saying or feeling.

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