How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Women love to be loved and held and we assume that every man that comes along will treat us like a princess and shower us with romance and undying love and affection. Why not?

However, men don't think about things the way that women do. Some will hold your hand in public, while others wouldn't dare to. There are also claustrophobic people who will avoid holding you all night because they feel trapped. It's not because of you, but because of their "space" issues.

For other men, it's because they were not brought up to be affectionate, so they do not understand women and what they need. Whatever the reason, it's important for you to understand what's behind your partner's behavior so you can both learn how to better meet the needs of the other person in the relationship.

In this article, I'll go over five of the main reasons why your boyfriend or husband might not be showing you affection.

Five Reasons He Might Not Be Affectionate

1. He's comfortable in the relationship and has forgotten that he needs to continue showing you he cares about you even though you're already together.

2. He grew up in an unaffectionate family and never learned how to express his feelings towards those that he loved.

3. He's just not very affectionate and has never really expressed his feelings in relationships.

4. There is an unresolved problem in your relationship that is putting distance between you two.

5. He's seeing someone else.

1. He's Comfortable in the Relationship

In this scenario, your boyfriend was affectionate when you first met him, but it's started to fizzle out.

When people are comfortable in a relationship, they tend not to do things to impress their partners anymore since they've already "won" them.

As a relationship matures, men tend to become lax with their displays of emotion. You run out of things to say and the "spark" that you felt when you started dating is no longer there. As a result, some men stop showing affection.

It does not mean that you are not loved. I am sure that at times you also tend to get irritated or annoyed, but in general, being comfortable is a good sign.

2. Lack of Affection From Family
Some families are close and full of love where others tended not to show their love. A man from a family that was not affectionate might not know how to act that way now.
In this type of relationship, it could take forever and a day for you to show him how to be affectionate as it is often difficult for guys to open up and show emotion if they have a "cold" background.

Giving him love and affection might give him a reason to do the same, but it will take time as it is something he has not experienced before.
I also find that guys who did not have any sisters tend to be less affectionate. This is because boys growing up with sisters are more in tune with women's emotions as they got to experience the tears, love stories, and tales of broken hearts.

3. He Has Never Been Affectionate
If you started dating a guy that has never been very affectionate, then the chances of him being that way now are pretty slim. If you wanted someone who would be more open about how he feels about you, and he has told you that he isn't like that, then why would you be with him?

Some men just cannot show affection, either because of their childhood or because of past issues, and many of them have just not felt the need to be affectionate.
If you are expecting him to change, he won't!
Guys that haven't shown open with their feelings from the very beginning of your relationship are naturally not the hugging type, and if you want to stay in this relationship, then you will have to focus on other things that he does. Expecting him to suddenly become affectionate or waiting until the moment he changes will only make you feel lonely and unloved.

4. Unresolved Problems in Your Relationship
If you've been dating for a while and your normally affectionate boyfriend has suddenly stopped holding your hand, cuddling, or telling you sweet things, it could mean that your relationship is in need of a spark or that there's trouble.

Don't jump to conclusions and assume that he's seeing someone else, but do take a look at your relationship and see if there is something that has caused problems.
It might be as easy as changing things up and rediscovering each other, or it could mean that you have other problems that you need to talk about.
Communication is important and you should be able to let him know that you need affection and ask him why there isn't any.

5. He Is Seeing Someone Else
A relationship that has been filled with affection and is now without it could mean that there is trouble you need to address immediately.
When guys are not interested in kissing you or holding you or do not want to show affection for you in front of friends or in public (even though they had no problem with this before), it might mean that they are having issues of their own or that he is seeing someone else.

Think about whether he lacks intimacy and interest in the bedroom no matter what you try. Has he always been this way, or is it a recent development?
If he has no interest in you whatsoever, then you need to approach it in the right way and find out what's really going on before it's too late.