Love Romance

Loneliness Has an Antidote and You’ll Never Guess What It Is I’m somebody who’s struggled with feelings of loneliness my whole life. It’s a big part of why I decided to become a relationship coach. I wanted to understand why some of my relationships felt more substantial than others. I wanted to understand why sometimes I relished being alone, yet other times being alone evoked feelings of profound sadness. The question I wanted to answer was this: What makes some relationships feel better than others? It was a mystery I was determined to solve. I have always been somebody who constantly alternated between desiring to be alone, which I now know is classic introvert behavior, and desiring to be with others. The thing was, I only wanted to be with others in a very particular way. I didn’t want to chit-chat, mingle, or even party. I wanted to feel warmth radiating between me and the other person. I wanted to feel safe and comfortable. I wanted to feel close . If my relationship...

1. You don’t share anymore Communication is the pinnacle of a healthy, successful relationship. Are you the last to know about your partner’s decisions? Do you feel like you don’t know what’s going on in your partner’s life anymore? It’s not necessary to share every thought with each other, but being able to share your successes and talk about your problems, concerns, and insecurities is crucial. If you find that communication has broken down or become nonexistent in your relationship, it’s a major negative indicator of the health of your relationship. : 2. You fantasize about being single It’s not unusual to reminisce about the “good old times” when you used to paint the town red with your single friends. But, if you find that you're daydreaming about how much better your life would be if you weren’t married, it may be time to dig a little deeper to find out why you’re fantasizing about the single life. There may be some serious issues in your marriage that n...

There are many sayings on this page and a number of ways to use these. Here are three suggestions: 1.) Secret Note Write one or more of these on a slip of paper and put it in their lunch, purse, wallet, etc. Then, when they don't expect to find it, they will see the message and be grateful. Be warned though, if your relationship isn't to this level yet, it may seem like an invasion of privacy. 2.) Romantic Card This is like the first option, but you start with a romantic card from the store. You then put several of these lines in to help bolster up the message. This is a fantastic idea for nearly any occasion and there is a card for nearly any occasion. You can also get extra points if the message on the card connects to the message you write. 3.) Unique Product You can always build a unique product that you can then give to your love interest. A daily calendar, a shirt, a pillow, or even more. If this includes their face and a quote from your relation...

A love triangle is a sustained sexual and/or emotional attachment between two people, one of whom is in a committed relationship with another person. While a love triangle may begin with a casual, short term affair between these two people, the term generally refers to a more complex relationship. A love triangle is one of the more complicated psychological relationship issues, and yet it's also one of the most common. Method One of Three: Identifying Your Role Examine your place in the love triangle. There are two primary forms of love triangle: the "rivalrous" and the "split object." In the rivalrous, you are one of two people competing for the exclusive love of the third person. In the split object, you are the person whose affection is divided between two lovers.  [1] Split-object relationships can also be imaginary. This occurs when someone imagines that they're in love with a romantic partner they've never met, or idealizes a re...

 things you can do that will impress your husband. He will be thrilled that you took the time to plan and surprise him. 1. Get Him a Gift: Go out and get him a thoughtful gift and surprise him with it after he comes home from work. He will appreciate the gesture and the thoughtfulness you put into getting the gift. If you have not already done so, getting him a framed photograph of the two of you makes for a great gift and one that he will appreciate. 2. Make His Favorite Meal: Surprise him with his favorite meal, or if you are not the cooking type, take him to his favorite restaurant. The key here is to drop little hints and build his anticipation. That way his excitement will be high when you surprise him. Having his favorite food with his favorite person will make him happy, and he will be impressed at the thought and detail you put into it. 3. Plan a Trip: Depending on how big you want to go, a simple weekend getaway somewhere you can drive to can work. You...

Stage 1 – Appreciation This is all about physical appearance and instant attraction. Now this should clear the doubts out for women though. Men are rather shallow when it comes to getting attracted at first sight. While women may fall in love in the first conversation, men are attracted to a woman only for her physical aspects, and nothing else. Physical appearance is paramount for men, but it may not necessarily be the entire package. Each guy has his own preferences in what he likes about a woman, be it her face, her legs, her smile or even the way she runs her hands through her hair. A guy may not even know what it is about a girl that he likes, but if he finds something attractive in her, he may experience the appreciation stage.  Stage 2 – Infatuation Men appreciate a lot of women on a daily basis. They try to steal second glances or get a girl’s attention all the time. But it’s not always a success, either because he’s not trying hard enough o...

Six years ago, in the Summer of 2012, my life felt unmanageable. The pain of yet another traumatic break-up with the same man I had been in a relationship with for over 7 years, left me reeling; feeling vulnerable, isolated and alone. I wanted to share my pain, but didn’t want to burden others. I was afraid that my friends and family wouldn’t understand, or worse yet, think I was crazy for continuing a path of no return, repeating a pattern that I couldn’t stop on my own. I was powerless in my addiction to the relationship and I was slowly starting to see that the only way out was through the pain. I needed to fully grieve the relationship and couldn’t do it alone. Below are some guidelines to heal from an addictive relationship. 1. Admit you are powerless. Prior to this step, we often deny, manipulate the situation or negotiate with ourselves and others that things will change or get better “If only…” Once we reach our own “rock bottom”, we can begin to heal. This step can ta...

I’m somebody who’s struggled with feelings of loneliness my whole life. It’s a big part of why I decided to become a relationship coach. I wanted to understand why some of my relationships felt more substantial than others. I wanted to understand why sometimes I relished being alone, yet other times being alone evoked feelings of profound sadness. The question I wanted to answer was this: What makes some relationships feel better than others? It was a mystery I was determined to solve. I have always been somebody who constantly alternated between desiring to be alone, which I now know is classic introvert behavior, and desiring to be with others. The thing was, I only wanted to be with others in a very particular way. I didn’t want to chit-chat, mingle, or even party. I wanted to feel warmth radiating between me and the other person. I wanted to feel safe and comfortable. I wanted to feel close . If my relationship with someone didn’t have that element of closeness, it tended ...

Flirting is only “harmless” when you’'re single Flirting can mean many behaviors including but not limited to buying someone a drink, giving compliments, non-sexual hugging, and playful banter between platonic friends.  comfortable telling each other about it without feeling shame, anxiety, or fear. The minute you realize that you feel uncomfortable or even slightly guilty about telling each other about your harmless flirting, it’s a big red flag that something more serious is going on. A healthy relationship is all about mutual respect, and flirting causes strain in a relationship usually because partners underestimate the stress caused by feelings of jealousy or insecurities triggered by their behavior. So if you choose to commit to each other, you need to agree on appropriate behavior towards people outside of your relationship.

Starting now, you really can stop being lonely. I’ve struggled with feelings of loneliness my whole life. It’s a big part of why I decided to become a relationship coach. I wanted to understand why some of my relationships felt more substantial than others. I wanted to understand why sometimes I relished being alone, while at other times being alone evoked feelings of profound sadness. The question I wanted to answer was this: What makes some relationships feel better than others? It was a mystery I was determined to figure out. I’ve constantly alternated between desiring to be alone — which I know is classic introvert behavior — and desiring to be with others. The thing was, I only wanted to be with others in a very particular way: I didn’t want to chit-chat, mingle, or even party. I wanted to feel warmth radiating between me and the other person. I wanted to feel safe and comfortable. I wanted to feel close. I wanted to make the loneliness stop. Feeling Lonely In Your Rel...

If so, you can turn that around for good. Are you dreading another weekend without plans? Do you wonder why your relationships keep ending and why eligible bachelors keep passing you by? Are you sick and tired of feeling lonely and just want to fill the hole in your heart with someone meaningful? I get that. Loneliness is real and painful. What you may not realize is that the reason many people feel so lonely has much to do with their attachment styles in relationships. According to well-known couples therapist John Gottman: “Attachment theory describes how our early relationships with a primary caregiver, most commonly a parent, creates our expectation for how love should be.” For example, I’ve been working with a young, successful businesswoman, helping her feel more confident pitching her ideas at work. Our recent conversation about work took a surprising twist, awakening her awareness of how profoundly lonely she is. As we began to explore and unpack her story in orde...

Attachment. You’ve heard about it right? How you and your partner can have a better, more fulfilling relationship by learning about your attachment styles and how they mesh (or don’t as the case may be). But attachment isn’t just for the romantically involved. Attachment affects our social and emotional wellbeing — our confidence, our ability to get on with others, even our ability to identify a career path. How can attachment be that important? Attachment is designed to help us survive. It helps us relate to our caregivers and by doing so ensures that we remain in proximity to those who are able to feed, protect and soothe us. Not only that, but our attachment behavior elicits these caring behaviors in our parents and helps generate a lasting bond that influences our early development. Infancy and Attachment Before we are born, we are already absorbing information from our environment. Our mother’s mental state and emotional wellbeing have a big influence on our developm...

How early parent-child relationships affect adult romantic relationships. Our early experiences with those closest to us shape how we understand the nature of relationships. During these early years, we develop our attachment style. Attachment style influences who we fall in love with, how we behave in romantic relationships, and even how the relationship ends. As we grow, the level of security that feel in our most important relationships, the tactics that we develop to get our needs met, and the coping strategies that we apply to manage our strongest feelings all strongly affect the attachment style that we develop. Secure vs Insecure Attachment Styles If our parents or main caregivers responded to our needs in predictable and supportive ways while we were growing up, we were likely to develop a secure attachment style. Secure attachment is the result of our understanding that we were worthy of love and we can depend on those around us for support. In contrast, if we had ...

We’re all in denial. We’d barely get through the day if we worried that we or people we love could die today. Life is unpredictable, and denial helps us cope and focus on what we must in order to survive. On the other hand, denial harms us when it causes us to ignore problems for which there are solutions or deny feelings and needs that if dealt with would enhance our lives. When it comes to codependency, denial has been called the hallmark of addiction. It’s true not only for drug (including alcohol) addicts, but also for their partners and family members. This axiom also applies to abuse and other types of addiction. We may use denial in varying degrees: First degree: Denial that the problem, symptom, feeling or need exists. Second degree: Minimization or rationalization. Third degree: Admitting it, but denying the consequences. Fourth degree: Unwilling to seek help for it. Thus, denial doesn’t always mean we don’t see there’s a problem. We might rationalize, excuse, or...

Dear Brown:  I told a male friend I had sexual fantasies about him.  At the time, he was living with a woman.  I persuaded myself that if a man is a partner/boyfriend with a woman and not her fiancé or husband, he is actually available.  I figured that if a couple isn’t married within two years of meeting, especially when they’ve spent almost every day together, that they aren’t going to marry—even though they are having sex and living together. I was hoping he would drop her and be with me.  I got swept up in lusty text messages, especially when he said he “wanted me.”  But then he said he just wanted me for a physical thing.  When I said no, he got angry at me and accused me of leading him on. I wanted to be loved, and I loved the attention. I felt wanted. Yet his actions told me that he didn’t want me as much as his text messages told me.  How do I go about getting love more healthfully in the future?  How can I ask for what I need...

1. Show Him Respect Make sure your husband knows that he is your number one, even if you don't feel like he is always respectful to you. Don't degrade him in front of his family or friends. Always be respectful of how he feels about something even if you might not agree. Make sure that he knows that you respect him, even if you don't say it to his face all of the time. Men want to know that they are respected, and much of their unhappiness and anger comes from feeling like they are being disrespected by someone else. 2. Show Interest in His Hobbies This doesn't mean you have to be with him every time he plays basketball with his buddies. More so, be aware of the things he likes. If he really likes to hunt, subscribe to a hunting magazine that he likes or buy him a piece of gear that you know he's had his eye on. Being interested does not all ways have to mean being fully involved. Give him enough space so that can enjoy his hobbies. That does not mean ...

Flirting can mean many behaviors including but not limited to buying someone a drink, giving compliments, non-sexual hugging, and playful banter between platonic friends.  comfortable telling each other about it without feeling shame, anxiety, or fear. The minute you realize that you feel uncomfortable or even slightly guilty about telling each other about your harmless flirting, it’s a big red flag that something more serious is going on. A healthy relationship is all about mutual respect, and flirting causes strain in a relationship usually because partners underestimate the stress caused by feelings of jealousy or insecurities triggered by their behavior. So if you choose to commit to each other, you need to agree on appropriate behavior towards people outside of your relationship.

Research has made it clear that the way we argue carries more heft in determining relationship quality than whether or not we argue, or how much. Fighting filthy will bring us undone. Fighting fair, on the other hand will keep relationships intact. People and families have a characteristic way of fighting and each is fed by a different part of the brain. New research is challenging people to look at how their brain influences how they fight, with a view to learning more adaptive ways to engage in conflict and avoid the scalding heat of battle. The Scottish Centre for Conflict Resolution has developed a test for this very purpose. The ‘Monkey v Lizard’ quiz was designed to give people a better idea of what part of their brain they are using when they argue. With this information, people are then well positioned to make deliberate choices around how they ‘do’ conflict. Monkey v Lizard. Now to explain … There are two parts of our brain that are called into play when we argue. Th...