Love Romance

1. CHANGE YOUR SIDE PIECE'S NAME IN YOUR PHONE. It should be a variation of one of your friends or someone your SO won't think too much of. This person should text you fairly regularly anyway. Generally, I find this more helpful when the friend is not a member of the sex you're attracted to. 2. MAKE SURE YOUR OTHER DEVICES ARE ALL LOGGED OUT. Don't leave iMessage signed into your computer and have your SO watch each text that flies in while you're curling up for some Netflix. Without multiple sign-ins, getting rid of the evidence is simple and fun. Well, mostly just simple. But it keeps things clean and mitigates any other potential disasters. 3. CHOOSE ONE MEDIUM TO SPEAK ON. It's easier to clean up your tracks when you only have one channel to watch. If it's texting, make sure you're not getting nude snaps and a million "i miss u" Facebook chats. Keep it to a singular medium and stop worrying about evidence of your indiscretions...

1. You’re dealing with someone different now. When an addiction takes hold, the person you love disappears, at least until the addiction loosens its grip. The person you love is still in there somewhere, but that’s not who you’re dealing with. The person you remember may have been warm, funny, generous, wise, strong  – so many wonderful things – but addiction changes people. It takes a while to adjust to this reality and it’s very normal to respond to the addicted person as though he or she is the person you remember. This is what makes it so easy to fall for the manipulations, the lies and the betrayal – over and over. You’re responding to the person you remember – but this is not that person. The sooner you’re able to accept this, the sooner you can start working for the person you love and remember, which will mean doing what sometimes feels cruel,  and always heartbreaking, so the addiction is starved of the power to keep that person away. The person you love is ...

Thinking about the special someone in your life (them – not the way they forgot your birthday, which happens to be on the same day as Christmas – same as it has been for the the last 7 years they’ve known you) has been found to increase energy. Thinking about romantic love triggers a physical response that is associated with arousal or passion. One element of this physical response is the release of cortisol into the body. When this happens, there can also be simultaneous rush of glucose (blood sugar). Researchers explored whether this rush of glucose would also trigger an increase in physical energy. Participants in a recent study were asked to reflect deeply on their current romantic partner, an opposite-sex friend, or their morning routine. Blood glucose levels were measured before and after the exercise. To make sure any change in glucose levels were related to positive rather than negative emotions, participants were also asked to complete a mood measure after the refle...

Falling in love is always blissful, perhaps due in part to sweet unpredictability of what lies ahead. Falling out of love on the other hand can vary from a slowly progressing dull ache to an excrutiating, life-sapping mess. According to a recent study, the slow simmering approach of a relationship breakdown can be predicted up to six years out. Researchers claim two key questions can predict whether or not a marriage will still be standing six years on. You would think that predicting happiness, love and relationship staying power would be dizzying in its complexity, but no – the method is gloriously simple and involves two questions: 1. How happy are you in your marriage relative to how happy you would be if you weren’t in the marriage? 2. How do you think your spouse answered that question? The Research. Researchers Leora Friedberg and Steven Stern from the University of Virginia analysed data provided by 4,242 couples. Six years later, the couples were asked the sa...

There are few feelings worse than being dumped. But being the one to end the relationship may be a close second. The truth is, breakups aren’t easy for either person. But if you’re the one doing the dumping, there are a few things you can do to make the experience less painful for both you and your partner. Here’s the best way to break up with somebody, according to relationship experts. Tell the truth — but don’t be cruel If you’re ending a relationship, you owe it to the other person to explain why, says Rachel Sussman, a New York City psychotherapist and author of The Breakup Bible . “The people that I see who have the hardest time after a breakup, it’s because they don’t understand,” Sussman says. Ideally, your reason shouldn’t shock the other person, because you’ve discussed it in the past and tried to work through it. Guy Winch, a New York City psychologist and author of How to Fix a Broken Heart, agrees that you should give a reason, but stresses that a breakup isn’t...

Relationships move through patches. Sometimes they coast along beautifully. Sometimes they splutter. Sometimes they gasp for breath on a cold stone floor. And sometimes they couldn’t even be bothered doing that. So how do you know whether it’s time to leave or time to fight harder to hold on? How do you know the difference between a bad patch and a permanent stagnation? Knowing whether or not to call it quits isn’t always easy but if you pay attention the clues will be there. There are plenty. Here are 12: 1. You’re getting the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ chat. This can be heartbreaking, I know, but don’t fight it. The reality is that it doesn’t matter if it’s you or your partner. If this is what you’re hearing, it means the combination of both of you just doesn’t work anymore. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you. What it means is that he or she can’t – or won’t – love you the way you deserve to be loved. Hanging on to that sort of relationship is such a ...

It can be tempting to start fighting about something via text. I mean we spend most of our lives attached to our phones, so of course, an argument is going to pop up as you're messaging back and forth. But don't do it! Trust me. It never ends well, and here's why. It's easy to misunderstand things. Words can get misconstrued since you aren't able to hear the person's tone of voice or see their body language. Things can escalate very quickly if you are both not understanding each other. It's easy to ignore the other person and let things fester. When you argue in person, you're forced to deal with the conflict and not just walk away. But via text, it's so easy to just stop responding to the other person. And the longer you let things fester, the worse off your relationship is going to be. A study from researchers at the University of California Berkeley and Northwestern University found that “the length of time each member of a couple spent ...

You know you really like this guy. He is definitely courting you, being attentive and saying some of the things you crave to hear. But: Is he really into you? Is he serious about you? Is he planning to stick around? You want to know if he is ready to commit – well, you’ve come to the right place. You are afraid to open your heart to someone who may only be playing, or trying to get in your pants. In this post, you’ll find the best ways to know if he is serious about your relationship , or sees it as just a fling. Ready? Start counting the signs. The more you find – the better the chances. 10 Surefire Signs that He is Serious about You Here are the best ways to know a guy wants a serious relationship with you: 1. The Little Known Facebook Clue No, I’m not talking about friending you on Facebook. I’m talking about HIS friends facebooking you. None of his friends would send a friend request to a girl that isn’t sticking around. If you get a tor...

1. Don’t Fall in Love Too Easily By nature we are loving people — we want to love and be loved. It is a normal thing. The problem is not loving a person that you have developed feelings for. The problem is falling in love too easily. Before two people become lovers, they must be friends. Friends know each other. Friends will help each other because they care for each other. If you don’t know your partner, when the relationship hits a rock it’ll fall to pieces. Don't let your eyes deceive you. Don’t look at the cover of a book and be satisfied with it because it’s appealing. Open the book to see the pages inside and know more about it. Before you fall in love, take some time to get to know your would-be lover. Falling in love too easily is the biggest cause of breakups. Be careful with your heart. Take good care of it. Don’t fall for anyone until you are sure they are the right person to fall in love with. 2. Don’t Withhold Important Things During the initial perio...

This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. Women hammer away, trying to pound the proverbial square peg into a round hole, then wonder what they’re doing wrong, why they can’t seem to make it fit, why they can’t get the love they want. You can’t turn a losing stock into a winning stock. You can’t force someone to change and to want what you want. You can’t convince someone to feel a certain way about you. I spent way too long chasing after guys who wouldn’t or couldn’t give me what I wanted, and then I wondered what was wrong with me when it didn’t get me lasting love! The problem was simple: I was choosing the wrong men. It sounds straightforward enough, but it’s a very tricky thing. We fall for these guys because it feels so right, because we’re swept up in the passion, the chemistry, and the intoxicating aura of unavailability; we get sucked into the space that exists when someone is just beyond our reach and it makes us yearn for him. We convince ourselves that ...

Research has made it clear that the way we argue carries more heft in determining relationship quality than whether or not we argue, or how much. Fighting filthy will bring us undone. Fighting fair, on the other hand will keep relationships intact. People and families have a characteristic way of fighting and each is fed by a different part of the brain. New research is challenging people to look at how their brain influences how they fight, with a view to learning more adaptive ways to engage in conflict and avoid the scalding heat of battle. The Scottish Centre for Conflict Resolution has developed a test for this very purpose. The ‘Monkey v Lizard’ quiz was designed to give people a better idea of what part of their brain they are using when they argue. With this information, people are then well positioned to make deliberate choices around how they ‘do’ conflict. Monkey v Lizard. Now to explain … There are two parts of our brain that are called into play when we argue. The ...

No matter what your partner does for a living, there is no denying that it is not exactly a walk in the park when they make less money than you. Here are five golden rules on what to do, and how to delicately approach the situation. #1 Always treat your partner as an equal.  First things first. Never, under any circumstances, make your partner feel bad about making much less than you. This is especially true if your sweetheart is a hard worker and is truly passionate about what they are doing. They may slave away at a non-profit organization and rake in peanuts, but if they come home to you every day with a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment, who are you to say anything about what they make? You of all people should know that it takes more than just a paycheck to make getting up and going to work every morning possible. Just be sure that, should money issues ever crop up, never belittle them or make them feel that they’re not on par with you. With that being said, if...

According to research by Eric Anderson**, a professor at Winchester University, UK, married women look for affairs to replace the lack of romance in their marriages. He gave a survey to 100 heterosexual married women, between the ages of 35 and 45, who were having affairs. All came back with similar results. The women were looking for the emotional and sexual spark which was missing in their love-life. Interestingly, not one of the hundred said they intended leaving their husband. So a married woman having an affair is, essentially, using you to satisfy her craving for excitement and something ‘different’ that she is unable to ask her husband for. **The paper, " Life is Short, Have an Affair: Middle-Age Women and Extra-Marital Affairs ," was presented on August 18, 2014, at the American Sociological Association's Annual Meeting in San Francisco. She Won’t Leave Her Husband for You Your lover has probably spent years investing in her marriage, her home and her c...

Generally speaking, from the perspective of a wife that's been cheated on, it's usually the "other woman" who gets most - if not all - of the blame for an affair. She's often perceived as a wicked homewrecker with nothing on her mind except "stealing" someone's husband.c  We all know this. But, let's remember, people who get involved in affairs are human too. Many of them have made terrible decisions and will have to live with the consequences of that for the rest of their lives. There aren't many pleasant descriptions that go along with being a mistress. But, in reality, mistresses are just ordinary women, not superhero villains intent on destroying the world and all the marriages in it. Mistresses are your friends and neighbors, and many of them are maintaining secret affairs that no one knows about. We can judge them all we want, but at the end of the day, what's really going on with women who become mistresses? There a...

1. Make the decision. The hardest thing about letting go is making the decision and feeling okay about it. The ‘what-if’s’ will kill you and talk you into tightening your grip every time. That doesn’t mean they’re right. Set a time limit (‘If I’m still unhappy in six weeks …’) or a condition limit (‘If this happens one more time …’). There are some questions to ask yourself to sure up your resolve: • Do I feel bad more than I feel good? If yes, it’s time to let go. • What has to change for me to feel happy and secure? Have I ever seen this before? • Is this person, job, relationship is capable of giving me what I need? • What do I get from staying? Is it something real? Or something long gone. When was the last time I got this? 2. Change ‘Can’t’ to ‘Won’t’. There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when to let go. Giving up is ‘I can’t’. Letting go is, ‘I won’t.’ The difference is subtle in sound but enormous in impact. Giving up comes from a place of defeat. ‘I d...

This section will give some general guidelines for starting real conversations with women online for sites like OKCupid, POF, eHarmony. It's a little more than just trying to pick them up. Below you'll also find some more approaches and examples both of what to do and what not to do. 1. Don't say the first thing that jumps into your head. So . . . forget just saying "hi." This is what 90% of guys do. Make an effort to stand out. 2. Don't say anything like "Ur gorgeous." Women hear compliments like that all the time. According to OKCupid's data blog OKTrends , messages that have words like "sexy," "beautiful," "hot," and "cutie," all received less responses. Girls aren't listening to that stuff, so quit saying it. 3. Stop trying to be cool or cocky. Being arrogant is a turnoff for women. Use words that make you seem a little vulnerable like "sorry" and "awkward" and ...